Day 14 – our last full day of the holiday. Tomorrow night we start the long schlep back to NZ from Paris.
Well before leaving home I booked Disneyland tickets for the three Scotts who wanted to visit. Murray had some work to do in Paris, so after we had filled ourselves from the brilliant breakfast buffet, which was pleasantly quiet at 7.30am, and had caught the free shuttle bus (that comes every 20 minutes) from our hotel to Disneyland. Murray headed into Paris.
(just one of the many rows of breakfast buffet)
We wanted to maximise our investment in the Disney tickets at approx $250pp for access to the two parks, by getting there early and packing as much as possible into the day. We arrived around 9am and were let into the Walt Disney Studios park with hoards of other keen visitors. Paris Disneyland, or Euro Disney as it was known when it opened in 1992 used to get a bad wrap in the 90’s when I was tour managing. There were usually a couple of people from each tour group who had more than two nights in Paris who would trek out to Disney and usually report back that the service was poor. We’ve been lucky enough to have visited two other Disney parks, the original in Los Angeles in 2012 and a few years later in Hong Kong, both had been good experiences and I was pleasantly surprised to find this was equal to our other visits. All the staff from entry to the rides and shops were very friendly and helpful, the park was clean and there were lots of options for rides and activities.
Here’s what we did and how we rated it on the universally recognised scream scale. This scale is based on how loud and how long the average mum will scream during the ride.
Toy Soldiers Parachute Drop, ‘Gather your young recruits and take the whole troop to Toy Story Playland for a fearless parachute jump behind enemy lines.’: While the London Dungeon were H&S OTT with Christian and his splinted hand, Disneyland Paris sensibly couldn’t have cared less. As long as you were over the height required and could get on and off the rides, weren’t pregnant or had back issues the rides were open to all. I am known as a bit of a scardy-cat. I don’t like things that go too fast, too high or tip upside down but propelled on by my offspring I agreed to go on this ride first up which didn’t look too scary. Once strapped under our parachute we were lifted in stages high above the Disney park. The ride then dropped then lifted randomly until we were lowered gently back to earth. My assertion of ‘this doesn’t look too bad’ as we were on the ground was quickly replaced with ‘it is actually quite high’ when we were at its peak. It wasn’t the ride that freaked me out though it was Christian’s random and erratic fake scared screaming that had me both crying with laughter and fear as we bounced up and down. Scream score 7/10
RC racer, ‘Andy is in a mischievous mood and takes you in his race car on a U-shaped high-speed circuit where you will climb up to 25 m high.’ Another ride based on one of my all-time favourite movies, Toy Story. While you only had to be 81cm tall to parachute you needed to be 120cm to take a spin in Andy’s race car telling me this one would be scarier. While it looked quite fast I managed to get myself on it as it didn’t look from the ground that there was any hanging upside down involved, just a speedy ride up and back on a semi-circle-shaped track. It wasn’t until we were hurtling to the end that I realised that the evil engineer hadn’t cut the circle in half but had maybe left about 200 degrees intact which meant that at either end we were in fact hanging a little upside down, albeit momentarily. Scream score 8/10.
(photo from Disney website)
Coaches Road Trip, ‘Rev your engine at this attraction at Walt Disney Studios Park and capture the natural and mechanical wonders of the legendary highway of the American West.’ Kenny had seen a POV video of this ride (at another Disney Park) and had hyped it up for me and Christian so we were excited to find it and that there was hardly any queue. You could hear Christian’s groan for miles when rather than individual self-drive cars turned up, but a road train that catered to the most timid of riders. Quietly relieved I boarded and enjoyed the ride through the ‘American West’ seeing characters from another of my favourite movies, Cars. There was a dramatic part of the ride that involved rocking, fire and flooding which I thoroughly enjoyed. Scream score 1/10.
Ratatouille: The Totally Crazy Adventure of Remy, ‘Rat-petez until you reach the size of Rémy and embark on a frantic chase in a gigantic kitchen.’ Another ride with no restrictions, this one provides entertainment all at ground level through the wonder of 4D effects and 3D glasses. Sitting in rat cars you get spun around in a simulated chase as the chef is trying to catch the rat under benches and tables in the kitchen and restaurant. This one made me feel the queasiest of the day, had a longish wait but was well worth it. Scream score 3/10.
(photo from Disney website)
The Twilight Zone Tower of Terror, ‘Discover the spectacular transformation of The Twilight Zone Tower of Terror and embark on three new experiences more terrifying than ever.’
I didn’t think I would go on this ride. The two words ‘tower’ and ‘terror’ are big red flags but still, I found myself following my offspring into the library of the rundown hotel where we were told we MUST stand on the carpet. Convinced we were going to plunge I secretly held onto Kennedy’s sleeve just in case. After a short audio-visual show were ushered through the bowels of the hotel and into an elevator. Here about 20 of us were seatbelted in and waved off with a ‘good luck’. I’m not going to lie, it lived up to its name and was terrifying. I wasn’t 100% sure we were actually moving higher than a floor as we were going up and down so much with the door opening often to reveal a spirit with a terrifying message before the doors slammed shut and we plummeted or rose again. It wasn’t until the doors opened revealing a view over most of Paris that I realised we had indeed gone quite high. My fear at that point was that we were going to move forward and be somehow dangled out of the building so when the doors closed and we fell at speed back to ground level it was weirdly a relief. Scream score 9/10.
Crush’s Coaster, ‘Let yourself be carried away in a whirlwind of adventures where you will twirl, dive and fight against the current.’ We opted to line up as single riders for this one cutting our wait time in about half. Fortunately, we got on one after another. I rode with a family who was subjected to my screaming as we hurtled and spun through the dark simulating riding on the East Australian current, dudes. Scream score 7/10
(photo from Disney website)
Hungry and thirsty after all the screaming we stopped for lunch and a dodgy burger combo before changing parks, walking the short distance to Disney Park.
(after some hair-raising rides)
Disneyland proper is made up of 5 ‘lands’ The one you enter first is Main Street USA lined with shops and eateries from which the other lands branch off. Our first stop was Frontierland where we spent an eternity lined up behind the world’s most annoying family waiting to get into Phantom Manor. ‘Are you ready for the big thrill? So set sail for this mysterious and fascinating journey, where ghosts and spirits await you at every turn.’ This was false advertising at its best. After waiting around an hour the ride was tame. Scream score – 1/10
(photo from Disney website)
Big Thunder Mountain, ‘Hold on tight, because the Mine Cart is about to take your whole family on a thrilling adventure around a haunted mountain…’ By the screams coming from the ride as we had another long wait we were more confident this would be a goodie, and it was. Boarding a rickety train cart we first plunged into a dark tunnel that took us under the lake and up onto the mountain which we hurtled around at speed. Scream score 8.5/10.
Next stop Discoveryland where we went on an old family favourite, the Buzz Lightyear Laser Blast. ‘Take off for space and help Buzz defeat Zurg with your laser in this intergalactic launch pad.’ Kennedy and I battled against each other as well as Zurg as we each tried to spin our cart in the direction that would most hamper the other as we tried to shoot targets with our laser guns. I didn’t win.
(whoever designed this Disney headband did not look at it from the back – design fail)
Star Wars Hyperspace Mountain, ‘At the wheel of your spaceship, fight the Empire in this fully revisited version of one of the Park’s flagship attractions.’ This ride looked fine until we got close to boarding and the warning sign said something like, ‘This ride plummets at speed in the dark and involves a 360-degree loop’. I pointed this out to Kennedy who merely shrugged her shoulders at me. I was trapped in a dark corridor and it seemed the only way out was to board the ride. My screaming was as fast and furious as the ride, so much so that within seconds my throat dried causing a coughing fit which lasted for the rest of the journey through the pitch dark at close to the speed of light and was only occasionally and briefly lit up with flashing lights, not nearly enough to see the terror ahead. I only knew we were going upside down due to my glasses, which were pretty much glued to my face due to the g-forces, started edging up onto my forehead. I couldn’t prise my fingers off my safety harness to put them back on my nose. Thankfully they didn’t fly off. Scare score 11/10
(photo from Disney website of people who were absolutely not on the actual ride – they look way too happy)
Needing to calm down my central nervous system we headed to the safety of Fantasyland and “it’s a small world”. ‘Set sail for a wonderful journey around the world with this iconic attraction that will amaze young and old alike! Climb aboard a joyful musical cruise for the whole family and sing the famous hymn to peace with dolls from all over the world.’ We boarded our boat and cruised serenely around the globe seeing cultures and animals all to the same repetitive tune of ‘It’s a small world after all, it’s a small world after all, it’s a small world after all, it’s a small, small world’. The perfect way to finish off our rides.
After a bite to eat, we strolled Main Street and bought a couple of souvenirs before boarding the free shuttle back to the Dream Castle where we reunited as a family for a drink before drifting, exhausted, back to our shared digs.
Day 15 – time to come home. I’m not ready. Adding to all the things I really like about this hotel is how accommodating they have been today. After having a late sitting at the buffet which was actually hellish, not any fault of the hotel, just the number of people and screaming, running around children in attendance alongside people who clearly don’t function before they’ve had coffee. In a crowded breakfast area lingering while staring blankly at the line of food or moving in random directions in front of people who are trying to carry trays laden with full bowls of cocoa pops and plates laden with bacon and croissants deserve to be evicted. They are worse than side suitcase pushers… way worse.
But I digress, after breakfast, we packed up and checked out at the prescribed time of 11am. It was no problem at all for us to store our luggage and use the facilities for the day. We were given a keycard to the luggage room and one each that allowed us access to the indoor and outdoor pools, showers etc… so we could relax for the day before our 4pm transfer this afternoon to the airport. Thank you for a wonderful stay, Dream Castle. If you are booking a trip to Disney with younger children, or if you’re young at heart, I’d highly recommend staying for more than three nights at the Dream Castle and having a couple of days at Disneyland to have more time to go on more of the rides, see some shows and soak up as much of the happiness as possible.
Gillian Scott Creative 