Tam Cốc rocks

The two-and-a-quarter-hour train ride from Hanoi to Ninh Binh hadn’t even left the station and I was ready to lose my shit. It was 3.30pm and it had already been a long day, mainly due to some fairly poor management on our part. 

We left the comfort and coolness of our host’s home at 10 am in a taxi his ‘Mr Trang’ had organised for the hour-long trip to Ga Ha Noi (Hanoi Train station). We thought we’d store our luggage then go off separately and explore for a few hours. After we avoided the ‘Hanoi Train Station luggage scam’, where employees try to get you to store your luggage in the VIP room for inflated prices and no security we located the actual luggage lockers inside the main station, fed the machine with 50,000 dong and deposited our suitcases. I had planned to also put in my day backpack which held my laptop, however with the signs warning you not to store valuables, and specifically mentioned laptops, I opted to keep the pack with me.

This is where the day’s plan began to fall down. With the sun shining for the first time since our arrival I underestimated how hot it would be, how hungover I was and how lazy I am. The combo of these things saw us wander across the road to get an iced coffee and then I walked for about 20 minutes up and down the road opposite the train station. I sat down for a bánh mì and then had a lie down on a row of seats inside the relative cool of the train station for a couple of hours.

It’s always a little nerve-wracking when you buy travel tickets for foreign lands online but Baolau.com came through with their promise and the tickets I’d purchased, and printed off at home were met with the approval of the train gatekeeper and we were allowed in to coach 2, seats 31 and 32. Murray quickly found that his seat was broken and wouldn’t stay upright. He hedged his bets by standing and hovering near empty seats waiting to pounce the moment the train was departing and it became obvious there would be no one needing them. I meanwhile stayed in my assigned seat facing a man with his filthy feet on the table between our rows, across the aisle another pair of filthy soles on a table was in my eye line and behind me a young child whose parents thought it was a great idea to give her a party blower for the journey. I thought showing your feet was the height of disrespect in Vietnam and having a party horn on public transport should be universally banned. The air conditioning which had been chilling the coach nicely when we boarded had also been turned off and with 5 minutes to go until we pulled out I was losing my rag. Calming breaths, cool air returning and the excitement of the journey getting underway lifted my mood as we rolled down Train Street sending shopkeepers and tourists scuttling out of our way. This alone made the $7.50 train trip worthwhile. 

The moral of the story, don’t put food on a Vietnamese train table.

At the first stop, an elderly man got on carrying an extraordinary amount of luggage in a duffle bag, box and a huge sack. Seeing him struggle to find homes for his belongings in the packed overhead luggage racks I offered him up our two seats and I moved to sit next to Murray (and away from the child still enthusiastically blowing her party horn). The ticket-man was having none of it and ordered the man back to his original seat before setting his sights on us. He pointed at us, then at our assigned seats. Murray tried to indicate with his hand that the seat was broken. Ticket-man deepened his frown and again pointed at us and then our seats. We started explaining that the seat was broken and that I was ready to murder a child. Thankfully at this point he gave up, gifted us with a death stare as he hurried up the aisle to harass someone else. There was something interesting to look at through the grubby train windows the entire journey and if the view wasn’t exciting enough train seat roulette kept the journey exciting. At both of the stops train SE5 made between Hanoi and Ninh Binh people got off to be replaced by new people whose seats we could be sitting in. 

Right on time at 5.43 pm we stopped at Ninh Binh station and disembarked. I’d read that a taxi to Tam Cốc would be between 50,000 and 100,000 Dong, when a taxi man offered to take us for 100,000 and we went through the charade of looking at the Grab app (Vietnam’s version of Uber) to check he wasn’t ripping us off, we agreed and jumped in for the 12-minute drive. We were greeted at the Tam Cốc Holiday Hotel & Villa by Mr Phuc who immediately insisted we sit in enormous cream armchairs while he fetched us each a chilled towel, glass of raro and selection of snacks while he completed our check-in. It’s always a bit of a lottery when you book accommodation online in a village you’ve never been to but with a 9.5 rating on Booking.com from over 2500 reviews I was feeling confident before I draped the icy towel around my sweaty neck.

As soon as we were settled into our ‘mountain view’ room we ambled down the main street to find food. In the dark, the street, festooned with lights and featuring restaurants, travel agents and places to get massages could have been anywhere in Asia. When we woke up this morning and looked out of our room window we began to see the magic with our first glimpse of the limestone karsts, dramatic rock formations created by the erosion of limestone. The erosion leaves steep cliffs, caves, and unique shapes which shall, from now on, be known as the Tam Cốc rocks.

The $70 (ish NZD) per night room includes breakfast with both a buffet and, order off a menu elements. Fuelled we set off on foot and turned right out of the hotel. Within minutes we were in a postcard countryside landscape where the narrow road was mostly empty. We strolled 1km to the Thai Vy temple and back stopping along the way to soak up the serenity.

Murray opted to rest while I explored the other side of town that we didn’t get to last night and sampled a local foot massage. Then it was my turn for a nap, a swim and then with lunch, we tried our first egg coffee. Egg coffee is a Vietnamese nationally acclaimed speciality made of egg yolks, sugar, and condensed milk (which are whipped together to form a sweet layer on top of a shot of coffee. It’s maybe not something I’d have every day but it was very tasty. Deciding I wanted to get out into the countryside again I hired a bike from the hotel – 40,000 dong ($2.70) for 5 hours and set off. 

Riding a bike through the countryside was exactly what I hoped to experience in my time here. As soon as I was out of the village traffic was sparse and everyone coming up behind you toots so you know they are there. The road runs between flooded fields and lotus ponds on each side with the still water, more than usual due to the recent typhoon, mirrors the eerie towering mountains dotted around. I can see why the area is known as ‘Halong Bay on land’. During my first 3km cycling the flat countryside, I inadvertently got caught up herding goats and then cattle as I made my way to Bích Động, a temple complex built in 1428.

Another 3km on the bike and my backside was beginning to feel the effects as I reached the Bird Park access ticket booth. I had thought I would ride right into Bird Valley but after seeing both a ticket booth and the hill climb beyond it, I changed my plans, turned around and cycled the 6km back to the hotel switching between riding seated and standing to help my rear end.

After safely returning my steed to its parking spot I enjoyed painting the view from our room window. Now the sun is sagging in the sky it’s time to find a happy hour, this place really does rock.

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